I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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