just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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