But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
