nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
