He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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