And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
