Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
