I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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