i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
