It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
