Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
