He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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