She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
