The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize