Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
