I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
