No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize