No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
