Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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