Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
