i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
