Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My first STD was from a foam party
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
