Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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