It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
