For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
not ubering you a puppy
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
