you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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