I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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