last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
