he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we're making bets on your personal life
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
