Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize