whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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