In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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