If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
