8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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