I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
