There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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