Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
