The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
