So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
