Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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