His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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