Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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