Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
