I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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