what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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