Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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