Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
