Got a toothbrush?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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