Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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