sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
