Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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