I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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