I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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