dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
