is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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