"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
