Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
