Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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