she was so not down for the gang bang
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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