Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
