just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
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