Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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