planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Boobs are out for the taking
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
