Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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