i will never coherently bang her
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
