how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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