I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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