what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
