so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
