Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize