Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
