my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
