I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
