Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
