she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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